Prior to Sunday, June 30th, 2013, if you had asked me if my child had major behavioral issues, I would have flat out told you no. I would have said I had a strong willed red headed Italian. In fact, I used to joke that I had the trifecta of toddler hood, a toddler, a redhead, and an Italian. I had fleeting moments where I just looked at her and felt like there was something that just wasn't right. But I brushed it off, I had many other mommy friends and had seen similar challenging behavior. I had confided in other parents, and found similar experiences. As far as my eye could see, she was normal as compared to her peers.
But on Sunday, June 30th, of 2013, I didn't CARE what was 'normal'. I said: "NO MORE!"
I've had a number of parents tell me 3 is SOOOOOO much worse than 2. And I would have agreed completely. But did you ever ask yourself why? Well I've come to a conclusion, it isn't. It only seems like it's the new 2. Because it IS worse than 3. But the age 2, hasn't changed much over the generations. So what has changed? In my humble opinion, in a two words, our food. Children don't eat very much food their first year, and even into their second year. As a parent I think you are hyper actively aware of what your child is consuming. Carefully introducing things. Worrying if it's enough vegetables, not enough protein, too much sugar. But as they approach and pass 3, you start to relax. You begin to accept that you can't control everything, and that the occasional snack or treat isn't the end all, be all. You make the best choices that you can, and then hope for the best.
But it's that shift, that shift at age 3, that begins the behavioral degradation. It's the food that makes 3 so much worse than 2. And by 4, several things happen, they begin to mature, and the behavior shifts a bit, you get numb to it, or they just get a bit better at controlling themselves.
But what if this social acceptance of age appropriate behavior is not accurate at all. What if our parents, and their parents who are walking around saying: "I just don't understand, I wasn't like this as a child, you weren't like this as a child, we wouldn't tolerate this from children." What if they are right. What if we have redefined normal. I could make a list a mile long of the individual acceptances that we should work on as a society, but behavior changes as a result of additives being unknowingly introduced to our bodies, is NOT one of them.
Take a look around at the "they're just being boys", "They're just being kids", and start to dwell more on the "where did this come from? it didn't used to be like this." and the "where is society going wrong, we didn't have these issues 50 years ago." There are many things that people are very quick to blame. But it seems like as a society we are accepting of the deception that is being placed on the foods going into our mouths. I'm not against treats, I'm not against, candy, I'm not against the conveniences of today, or needing shortcuts in our fast passed society. I am against things that are changing my childs behavior so drastically that if seen by a doctor she would be diagnosed with ADD or ADHD and put on medication. And even worse, I am against a society we live in that if you care enough to read your labels, you STILL can't be sure of what you're putting into your child.
So is it normal? Is this redefinition good? I don't think so, and I don't think it's normal. And I think accepting it as such is doing not only our children but the future of our children's children a major disservice.
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